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The Princess Diaries
The doings of a practically pedigree who is almost certainly better than you
Created on 2006-11-05 20:45:07 (#11542475), last updated 2008-01-04
16 comments received, 23 comments posted
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8 Journal Entries, 2 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 2 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Mei Mei |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 2005-10-21 |
BioI was destined for great things. I take after my mother in my looks, and apart from my white paws, belly and chin I show no sign of my undesirable sire. Considering the rest of my litter, I should no doubt be thankful merely to have all four legs and a tail in the right place, but I have always resented that my lack of a Bombay pure-black coat means I shall never be Shown. A Bombay-mix, they call me, and I purr through my disdain, but they'll all pay, one day, oh yes.
One day I shall find The Show, that place my mother told me of in my early kittenhood, where she was admired all day by humans trained in how to properly adore a cat, groomed until her sleek coat shone, and came home with fabulous ribbons to chase. When I find The Show, I shall stroll in, and all the judges will turn away from the fluffed-up Persians and pampered pedigrees and they will say: "Who is that beautiful cat?" and I shall win best in show and they will all go home with their faces like sour cream and all the rosettes and ribbons will be mine! All mine!!! Ahem.
Of course, our lack of pedigree meant that we had to be sent to a rescue centre (the shame!) to be adopted. I was prepared to go first, being so beautiful, and obviously very nearly a pedigree, but the humans there had no idea. To each of my siblings, they said: "We'll love you, stubby no-tail!" or "Come home with us, Tripod - we've got nothing against your back leg, and neither have you!" and they took them, one by one, until I was left all alone.
When my new humans took me home, I didn't eat for the first day - I was so weak and exhausted by the journey, so lonely for my siblings. But no sooner had I got used to my status as an Only Cat and established my new home and humans as MINE, than they went away for hours and came back with an older cat, who announced that she was going to be my new mother. Well, I wasn't having any of that, she was a common moggy and nothing like my mother, so I chased her under the desk every time I saw her and the humans eventually took her away again.
Then came Siren. I thought at first that it was Tripod, it looked so like her, so imagine my disappointment when this creature bounded in, all fluff and slobber, and had the cheek to call me a puppy. I thought that if I hissed at her enough they'd take her back too, but she seemed completely impervious to disdain or agression and just kept trying to jump on me and bite my ears. So I stayed out of her way for a while, until one day I came across her sleeping on the couch, and when she wasn't jumping and yelling and slobbering she was much more like a proper cat, and so like dear Tripod, apart from the extra leg, of course. I missed having siblings to groom me and tell me how beautiful I am, and besides, she was under the impression that she was a dog, so I decided to be charitable.
Her education continues, and she at least knows now to purr when she's happy instead of wagging her tail, and not to bite while grooming. She can't come to The Show with me, of course, because she'd be an embarrassment, but I have to admit that she's very brave, and very clever at opening doors and boxes and finding fun things to do. She's also very handy to have around when you've shredded the paper screens and the human female shouts "Who did that?" and I run under the bed and Siren stands there saying "What? I can shred screens! What, isn't that good? Don't shut me out the room!" Yes, I love my sister.
One day I shall find The Show, that place my mother told me of in my early kittenhood, where she was admired all day by humans trained in how to properly adore a cat, groomed until her sleek coat shone, and came home with fabulous ribbons to chase. When I find The Show, I shall stroll in, and all the judges will turn away from the fluffed-up Persians and pampered pedigrees and they will say: "Who is that beautiful cat?" and I shall win best in show and they will all go home with their faces like sour cream and all the rosettes and ribbons will be mine! All mine!!! Ahem.
Of course, our lack of pedigree meant that we had to be sent to a rescue centre (the shame!) to be adopted. I was prepared to go first, being so beautiful, and obviously very nearly a pedigree, but the humans there had no idea. To each of my siblings, they said: "We'll love you, stubby no-tail!" or "Come home with us, Tripod - we've got nothing against your back leg, and neither have you!" and they took them, one by one, until I was left all alone.
When my new humans took me home, I didn't eat for the first day - I was so weak and exhausted by the journey, so lonely for my siblings. But no sooner had I got used to my status as an Only Cat and established my new home and humans as MINE, than they went away for hours and came back with an older cat, who announced that she was going to be my new mother. Well, I wasn't having any of that, she was a common moggy and nothing like my mother, so I chased her under the desk every time I saw her and the humans eventually took her away again.
Then came Siren. I thought at first that it was Tripod, it looked so like her, so imagine my disappointment when this creature bounded in, all fluff and slobber, and had the cheek to call me a puppy. I thought that if I hissed at her enough they'd take her back too, but she seemed completely impervious to disdain or agression and just kept trying to jump on me and bite my ears. So I stayed out of her way for a while, until one day I came across her sleeping on the couch, and when she wasn't jumping and yelling and slobbering she was much more like a proper cat, and so like dear Tripod, apart from the extra leg, of course. I missed having siblings to groom me and tell me how beautiful I am, and besides, she was under the impression that she was a dog, so I decided to be charitable.
Her education continues, and she at least knows now to purr when she's happy instead of wagging her tail, and not to bite while grooming. She can't come to The Show with me, of course, because she'd be an embarrassment, but I have to admit that she's very brave, and very clever at opening doors and boxes and finding fun things to do. She's also very handy to have around when you've shredded the paper screens and the human female shouts "Who did that?" and I run under the bed and Siren stands there saying "What? I can shred screens! What, isn't that good? Don't shut me out the room!" Yes, I love my sister.
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behind the curtain, being adored, in the box, in the broom cupboard, on the computer, out the window, over the fence, quantum uncertainty, the purple mousy, under the bath, under the bed, under the fridge
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